I don’t know but Glisten

Wells Preston

we burned all the rules

                        not out of spite, but boredom

            they were dead when I first hit the gas

were the spearhead, first to cloud in spicy gray

            4 hours there, 

            72 more for insanity,

            we lived as cohesively as possible,

            different as we were,

sharing the same goals

                        pastimes, habits all glistening and specking

we were all gamblers, depending on the stakes

                        but slinger was our trade,

            they knew, we knew              our kind was left be

not for our ferocity, but

            we had minds that moved

                        a lit match in a gas leak ….unstable at best

                                    you never know

returning after the burn is different

            I came back to rest

                        survival was only hoped for

            on the verge of mental collapse I pondered

                        what it would take to end what I started

we took without asking

            destroyed without thinking

                        and worst of all

                                                we’re only going to be killed by our own arrogance

                                                that proved true

after I dropped someone

            out of fear, not for or of her

                        but because I was too weak

            my wall was build to stop the pain from coming

but it stopped more

I never knew it

            till the claws of karmic justice

            took my freedom again, in a battle I couldn’t win.

glass regressed to sand

            glazing everyday objects a shiny, painful glow

                        cleansing it,  red petals of blood coated my world

who’s to say I’m the only one

            other survivors have been punished

                        we pushed the limit too far, and got away with too much

                                                                                                now were slowly paying…..

I wanted a revolution

            I lusted for anarchy……..pure freedom

                        more over

            I needed a change, a war worth fighting, belief not faith

I wanted to be that man

                        holding a torch of passion,

sending it at oppression

            ready to buy a gun, if you could give me a cause worth fighting for.

                        but it wasn’t my time or place to do so

nothing to live or die for,

            leaves a freedom fighter empty

                        a wasted space of human consciousness

she taught me different though

            I learned

            not through my ways of old

            through the suggestion

            and thoughts

                        of another

I don’t know

            how.

But she was <……… here ………> in there. my head, where my control was supreme

             she knocked a hair trigger

                                    the pin out of the tiger cage,

            two beasts embattled

releasing a dam, my thoughts flooded the quiet towns of my conscious

            ½ loved to live, ½ loved the wall

                        the toughest fight of my life

            was not with fists

                                    or fire

                                                or lead

it was waged on the inner planes

            and many levels

                        of my head

            and life carried on …. without my wall,

but with me

            a lone slinger,

riding into the sunset of another life.

                                                still searching

this was my revolution