Sanctuary

Ben Nissim

The wind streaked mountain was devoid of all people.  The sun had begun to set nearly an hour ago and all the people had left to return to their homes.  It was sad almost, how as soon as the light began to dwindle there was an immediate evacuation.  No matter what, people began to disappear as night’s cool fingers stole away the light and surety of the day.  Myself though, I couldn’t be more different.  The undisturbed, dark air was my sanctuary, my solace after the burden of living.  Sitting atop the mountain with the wind whipping about me and snow just beginning to fall into a light coating, I could finally breathe.

            The cool mountain air has that effect on people.  

Initially I came to the mountain with friends; they wanted to party, to have fun.  I now found relief in the solitude.  There was respite from the drudgery of life.  The experience has a nature of its own, verging on indescribable.  People gain what they will from the mountains.  Nothing is ever the same about the experience, but at the same time never different.

            As I lay on my back staring at the twilight sky the snow behind me crunched signaling a strangers approach.  The stranger had always been with me but I had been too alone to see him.  His unruly hair and the mouth that was perpetually frowning were each like mine own.  For an instant and an eternity we stared into the depths of one another’s eyes searching for the others reason for intruding in this most individual of places. No words were ever spoken.  They did not need to be; it was as if looking into the eyes of the trespasser one saw themselves.  There was an understanding that existed there, one of pain and loss, of humor and love.  It was an understanding that was all encompassing; a feeling that I wasn’t alone.  

The silence was never broken; there was no need for it to be.  Doing so would destroy the sanctity of the haven we both sought.  The contact could have been a fraction of a second but as each moment passed so did a lifetime.  The beginning and end passed before my eyes time and time again, each instance the end coming from a different path.  My heart slowed and terror filled me.  I felt as though my very soul was being bared to the world.  There wasn’t anything I could do about it.  The piercing gaze held me, there was no relief. 

Finally he turned his back and before I could even so much as call out, darkness came in full and my vision was lost. 

Touching my chest I finally let out my breath.  Throughout the full intercourse with the stranger I had forgotten to breathe.  I wrapped myself in my jacket and lay down in the freezing snow.  The cold night air enveloped, almost suffocating me.  I shivered and clutched desperately at the fleeting memories of the stranger.  The memories were fading fast despite my efforts.

I lay there in the snow desperately trying to grab a hold of the memories, but as each instant passed so did my courage.  The night continued to grow darker and the snow deeper.  There was nothing to do and no one to speak to. 

A shiver coursed through my entire body.